Fifty Grades of Twilight Shade: Part 1

“You are not to see that boy again! If I can even call him that, at his age. He should have graduated years ago! Instead, he continually skips class and has no discernable future ahead of him. As if that weren’t bad enough, he stalks you, sneaks into your room to watch you sleep and has a disgusting fascination with your bodily fluids! I know you find him mysterious and alluring—a misunderstood loner who needs your love to save him. But this isn’t love, Darling. You’re obsessed, and dangerously so.”

“Relax, Dad. He’s a vampire.”

“Oh. All right, then.”

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