What the *bleep* are you looking at?
If you know what’s good for you, my food will be in my bowl when I get downstairs. Just saying.
I’m sorry. Did I awaken in some magical reality where my litter box cleans itself? No? Then why the *bleep* are you still in bed?
I should care that it’s Christmas because—? You know I’m a Satanist, right?
That’s better. You may now pet me four times.
Okay, down to business. How can I get that stupid mutt in trouble today?