A Cat’s Day (in 100 Words)




What the *bleep* are you looking at?

Yawn. Stretch.

If you know what’s good for you, my food will be in my bowl when I get downstairs. Just saying.

Knead mattress.

I’m sorry. Did I awaken in some magical reality where my litter box cleans itself? No? Then why the *bleep* are you still in bed?


I should care that it’s Christmas because—? You know I’m a Satanist, right?


That’s better. You may now pet me four times.

Sit up.

Okay, down to business. How can I get that stupid mutt in trouble today?

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